14th May - continued

I turned up at the hospital accompanied by my wife and reported to the Osprey ward - eventually we were ushered in to a room and met with an endocrinologist (hormone specialist). I'm asked all the usual questions about how I got here - how was I feeling etc. This was followed by slightly painful discussion about whether my cock would stand to attention and under what circumstances.

Eventually we got round to talking turkey.

Just how high was my prolactin reading? - A normal level is circa 500 (assuming ng) mine came in at 202,000. About this time, I expected Roy Castle come back to life and start playing the trumpet.

Had they found anything in my head? Yes! I have been diagnosed with a macroprolactinoma 3.5 x 3 cm. It's wrapped around a carotid artery - pushing in to the optic chasm and invading the sinus region behind my nose. This is the root cause of my testosterone failure so I now need to make a public apology to my nuts. The pituitary gland has a major role to play in body chemistry and being squashed by a tumour has done little to help it get on with its job.

Is it going to kill me? No. But it will cause problems if not dealt with. Aside from the fatigue I've been experiencing, it could impair vision (optic chasm). Also, the point about the sinus also comes with complications which I'll explain.

I'm going to be given Cabergoline - a drug which should shrink the tumour (in 80% of cases I understand). If the tumour has truly invaded the sinus region, when it shrinks, it will unblock the hole it's made and I'll end up with CSF (brain fluid) peeing out of my nose. I've been given a phial to carry with me at all times and (I kid you not) should fluid start coming out, I have to collect the stuff - walk in to A and E, get some antibiotics (to prevent meningitis) and then prepare for some kind of patching operation.

Hmmmm

Further to all this, I've got various other tests to take. Bone density (because prolonged lack of testosterone can cause osteoporosis apparently) / ECG tests to make sure my heart is fit for the treatment I'll be receiving / I'll also be getting and further visual function tests and a cortisone test. I should get myself a secretary really to keep my diary!

OK .. I'm lacking any comedic twist on pretty much any of this at the moment. I'm actually writing retrospectively though - my next entry will cover the events 17th May which put my problem in to perspective.

For the record - looking at the MRI scan was fascinating. The blob looked ugly though. I'm thinking of giving it a name so I can strike up a dialogue with it and talk it out of my nose. If I can get my hands on the pictures, I'll post them on this blog.