Tuesday 21 September 2010

The Great Testosterone Yo Yo Effect

After my second blood test I heard nothing! So I rang the endocrine nurse and blagged my test results. I was still way over the accepted level but around half of the first reading.

OK - what now? Well I didn't get any advice from the hospital for the next couple of weeks. In the absence of official words of wisdom, I halved my testosterone gel use - until the can ran out - at which point I couldn't be arsed any longer. Rubbing jelly over your body is only fun when you're in your twenties, in love and prepared to get messy experimenting. No more standing around in the mornings waiting for the sticky patch to dry up before putting on my clothes for me.

So I took a calculated risk guessing that when the hospital did get back to me, they would give the same advice. Well, they didn't. Get back to me that is! So I chased them like a ferret chasing a prawn up a trouser leg. Eventually, after a careful 30 second assessment, they decided that I should stop taking the testosterone gel and take more blood tests after a week or so.

Testosterone has done some great things for me over the last few months. The effects peaked after one month I would say but generally it's been positive all round. I'm not impressed with the extra hair that has grown all over my body (especially up my back - starting from my arse). I do like the extra muscle tone and the general feeling of well being - and also the fact that my arms don't get tired if I hold them above my head for more than two seconds.

Let's hope natural production of the hormone has returned and I can concentrate on getting rid of that ugly lump from by bonce.

My next consultation has been helpfully moved back in to October. The letter came with a stern reminder of the cost to the NHS that missed appointments bring. I would like to remind them that it's a two way thing and to stop casually rearranging my consultations like they're a lunch date to discuss the contents of the Argos catalogue.